Who are you ?
by Alexane182
Summary: Ziva questions her identity. She meets someone who changes everything in her life.
1. Chapter 1

**I know this part isn't M rated but we will get there... **

After Eli's death Ziva was devastated. She was the sole survivor of her family. Israel and Mossad had taken her family away from her.

Her mother. She didn't even want to think about her. After her father left with Orli, she was devastated and went into a deep depression. After two years in hell, taking care of Tali and Ari as the mother figure in the house, Rivka had taken her life, leaving a simple note to her kids; אני אוהב אותך.

Then there was Tali. She was officially killed in a suicide bombing but she knew it had been an attack on her to make her father sign an accord with hamas. It made her sick that her innocent and compasionate baby sister was killed for peace.

She was the one to blame for Ari's death. She had regrets, she took the life of the only other person from her homeland she could truly confide in. Shmeil was a great friend but he had this way to turn things into deep philosophical questions. The only thing that could comfort her was that by killing Ari, she had found a new family, a father in Gibbs, a sister in Abby, a brother in McGee, a grand-father in Ducky, a little cousin in Palmer and the love or her life in Tony.

Finally, there was Eli. Her father, the one who left her to die in the somalian desert. Why did she even care for his death ? He was her last living relative. He was the only way to remind her of her childhood happiness. And his job, his country, his religion, took that away from her. She had been a Mossad officier, loyal to her country and her heritage but she was very bitter.

She had killed her childhood friend, her father's protégé, Ilan Bodnar. They had shared so many things together. Tony had kill Michael. Amir was killed protecting Eli. She wanted to kill Malachi as much as she hated her father for leaving her to die in Salim's camp. Apart from a few aunts and uncles she hadn't spoken to in years, she had nobody left in Israel.


	2. Chapter 2

Still not the M rated I know... here is the second part of it... I keep changing my mind about what's going to happen...Enjoy :)

Ziva had always been proud of being jewish. She was wearing her _maguen_ David like a... sheild. She found herself praying in the synagogue after her father's death she found comfort in there, a place she knew, _bait knesset_, house of assembly... House... Home.

Her family belonged to a liberal congregation in Tel Aviv. She was still part of it but it now seemed so far from her. She could barely remember sitting in the synagogue as a child. She could remember the rabbi's wife who used to babysit her and Ari, before Tali was born. She didn't even know if her father still attended the temple. Maybe he had let go as well...

She had been in the US for 8 years and she still had not found a temple that she liked to attend, a temple she felt she belonged to. She had thought that maybe it would be best if she just let go and live like all these secular people. But it wasn't right. She did belive in God, even after all he had put her through. Over all, He did send her a sign that she shouldn't loose hope, after her father died. After her father's death, she wanted revenge, it wasn't the first time she felt like that. After Tali's death she wanted revenge. Tali had suffer, she could have survive the attack, she lost her left arm and part of her left leg. She was hospitalized for weeks, and she got really sick. An infection had attacked her wound and her imunitary system was weaken by the high loss of blood. She was recovering hapily one day and passed away three days later. Ziva tried not to think about that. She forced herself to only remember Tali as the happy child and teenager she was before she got sick. Ziva was furious against the entire world. Why not her, why her little sister?

But after Eli's murder, she second guessed her revenge mission. Killing wasn't right. Seeking vengence wasn't right. But she could not forgive Bodnar. He betrayed her father, and herself. They had been really close to each other once, they grew up together. She felt like her country was divided into to kind of people, the good ones; who are inevitably dead, and the traitors.

She didn't trust anyone there now. Her long-time confident was a israeli operative after Munich, a spy, a killer, and she blamed Adam for being ther when she needed it. Even if she was consentant, she felt like he took advantage of her. Ziva was troubled, she did think Adam was bad in a certain way but she couldn't forget about the first time they had selpt together.


End file.
